Self Destruction

What to do, what to do? Have you ever been stuck in a rut? A time in your life when things are supposed to be going one direction, but they're really going in twelve? A tricky time, isn't it? I'm there, at that time in my life when the future is nonexistent. It has been so prodded and examined that it now resides as a black slate, a dark void holding so many questions, but empty of answers.

I'm standing on the edge. You know how you have different sections in your life? They're usually separated by big changes or even just a change of mind, mental landmarks that you can always refer back to. I have a couple, all have been major shifts that have occurred, all not particularly happy.

I'm standing at the edge of one, I can just feel it. A shift in normality, a pull of the drapes.
I know I control my own future, but sometimes, I just wish it would control me instead.